Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
