Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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