I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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