it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
