Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
