This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize