I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
