You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
