i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
