I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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