The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize