...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
