no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
