What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
