i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
