Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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