he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
FUCK WHALES
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