Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize