god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
