Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
