a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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