what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
