At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
