I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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