Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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