how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
