she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
