Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
wanna go halves on a baby?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
