Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
