I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
