My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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