There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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