My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
