He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I think my moral compass just broke
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
