Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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