I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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