I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
