Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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