I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
