May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
