Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
