plz talk dirty to me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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