do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
