??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
