She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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