So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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