He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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