omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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