u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
