You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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