Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
