i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
