I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
