i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The air taste purple.
Randomize