I think im going to throw up on grandma
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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