He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
